you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
