chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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