you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
