I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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