the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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