In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize