ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
