i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
only you would photoshop your dick
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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