So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
