Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it because I queefed?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
