He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
