This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
