my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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