i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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