I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
