i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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