Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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