We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Randomize
