Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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