walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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