well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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