I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
