Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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