I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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