You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
