And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
