"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We're like a lot better than the average bears
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
