Porn is love you can see.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
