worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You made out with two different species that night
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
