He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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