I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
