I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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