Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
