I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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