That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
