how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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