Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
