So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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