Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
