Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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