you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize