Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Success! We fucked roommates!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
