i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
