I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
