you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.