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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

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• (714): View more from California

  We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken

  (269): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD

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• (646): View more from New York

  I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.

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