Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO