Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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  (248): I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard. http://tfl.nu/wcz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1401) Bad night (523)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate

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  (418): I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate http://tfl.nu/4k8x
  Replies (5) Good night (1669) Bad night (668)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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  (303): i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special http://tfl.nu/5558
  Replies (40) Good night (3702) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry

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  (734): He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry http://tfl.nu/nl2p
  Replies (23) Good night (1488) Bad night (7266)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.

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  (647): Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page. http://tfl.nu/te1t
  Replies (40) Good night (3510) Bad night (1065)
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  (562): View more from California

  He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome

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  (562): He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome http://tfl.nu/u3j0
  Replies (6) Good night (2611) Bad night (725)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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  (859): apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us. http://tfl.nu/vs1x
  Replies (18) Good night (3584) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.

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  (770): Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers. (504): A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/wa4b
  Replies (4) Good night (2226) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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  (+27): I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/8fby
  Replies (7) Good night (831) Bad night (1246)
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  (916): View more from California

  you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"

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  (916): you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances" http://tfl.nu/1xse
  Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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  (908): I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there. http://tfl.nu/gv3y
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (685)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.

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  (+64): If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help. http://tfl.nu/n5gu
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

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  (816): Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown http://tfl.nu/kwyi
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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  (661): TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us! http://tfl.nu/7jy3
  Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.

  (631): View more from New York

  You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?

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  (904): Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever. (631): You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring? http://tfl.nu/4f34
  Replies (1) Good night (1607) Bad night (327)

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