Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
