Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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