I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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