You can't motorboat a personality
she smelled like a LAN party
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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