Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
