Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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