the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
