none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
