How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
