he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
