He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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