I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
