I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
