Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
