I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
