omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
