i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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