I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
