We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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