i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
