As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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