We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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